“Find friends, dates and everything in between” Quite a claim, generally the latter part is akin to a Mariana trench-sized void of disappointment that is all too often left vacant.

From a pragmatic perspective Tinder is a highly functional tool given that the user can employ the sense to use it correctly. I’m not speaking of complex double-agent psychologies used by the so-called red pill popping pua’s; but more simply to manage realistic expectations online.

I’ll get straight to the point- Tinder is the bastard child of POF and Blender yet given its millennial status it is subject to an identity crisis and doesn’t know what it is or where it belongs. Its colossal customer base features uncountable and unmeasurable volumes of miscellaneous Elliot’s and Karen’s looking for their convenient, strong and stable, identikit cereal box partners.

The other more cynically dull side of this newish coin is that it is a highly functional casual hook-up dating app, and given the frustration of doing that 500-set rep of right index finger bicep curls, most chip-and-pin-busy-bodies forking out on subscription costs tend to be banking on matches through brute force method, like cracking a safe.

Given the competition, Tinder has a comfortable monopoly and have cornered the market, so they have the option to charge their prices. The other comparable platforms pale in comparison in terms of users available. So, as a result, despite its shortcomings, Tinder still works well.

The reductive nature of making snap decisions based on very little information eliminates charisma, charm and presence-based game. This is the major downfall and simultaneous genius of Tinder- it algorithmizes what used to be an enigmatic and unpredictable set of variables and tangents that leads to casual sex.

It provides a household name platform for people wanting to feel great about themselves, flirt, and tease or simply meet another person to have an orgasm- despite the analogue-letharios and casnovas singing in memoriam to the lost art of real-world romance, Tinder’s profits contrastingly sing in the major key.

Perhaps this is just l’esprit d’escalier, but hey, in the information age who has the patience to care or protest.

Bede Robinson